Confessions&Second Chance Options;;Ella;;57

I meet my dad and Alfonso at the corners office. We're sitting in the waiting area as Alfonso is on my dads lap. My head is on my dads shoulder right now. He didn't need this. Jay and him just broke up and now his exwife was found dead. "Dad, what the hell happened?" I asked him as he looks at me.


"Alfonso came home from a friends and found mom in the living room. He said she wasn't moving so he called me and 9-1-1."
"Dad, you shouldn't have to be going through this."
"Ella, we have to go through lifes ups and downs--"
"Mr. Gianni?"


We all stand up and follow the forensic scientist and cop into a room. My dad sits down and places a half asleep now twelve year old Alfonso on his lap. I sit next to my dad as my cop and the forensic scientist opens up a file. My dad looks like he feels bad about something. "She had an overdose, your exwife."


"On what?" I ask.
"Prescription medication and oxycotton. Did she have a history of drug addictions?"
"Oh man..."
"Dad?" Alfonso and I say in unison.
"Guys, I should've told you. Ella, when she had you, she had a stint in rehab."
"No wonder why I'm closer to you than I was to her.."
"Fonso, she had an alcohol problem sometime after you were born..."


This was unreal now. My mom had an alcohol and drug problem. The cops tell Alfosnso and I to leave. I tell dad I'll bring him home. We're at my dads now. I'm lying in my king sized bed as a knock comes from my door. It creaks open and theres somewhat taller but still tiny Alfonso standing there. "Whats up Alfonso?" I ask him.


"Can I lay with you?"
"I don't see why you wouldn't be able too." 


I move over as he lies on my bed with me. We're both not saying anything because we don't have anything to say. "What's going to happen now Ella?" He asks me. I look at my brother and see that we both have my dads features, but he looks more like dad than I do. 


"Well...I know for a fact mom didn't make a will, so dad has full custody of you now."


There's a knock on the wall. I see my dad standing in the door way. I try to smile as he places his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "Can I join you two?" He asks as we nodd. My dad sits in the middle of Alfonso and I as his arms are around both of us. "Are you guys okay?" he asks us.


"Why didn't you tell us the truth dad?" Alfonso asks us.
"I wanted to keep you guys from worrying, your my number one priority ever since you both were born. Want to know a secret? I practically raised you two on my own."
"You did a good job dad," Alfonso says as my dad kisses his head. "You're the best."
"Dad...are you okay, you know with the whole Jay thing and this?" I ask.
"I'll be fine. I think I'm going to date woman again. And this incident, it's just going to make our bond stronger as a family."
"Ella are you still sad about Jonny?"


Did Alfonso really have to ask me that? I look at the ceiling. I wasn't okay, I had to lie to myself everyday and pretend I didn't care, but inside I did care. I still loved him more than anything. "Lets get through this right now before I answer that?"


It was the funeral. We were all at a luncheon with the family, including Christina's mom and sisters, Nik, Ally and her family, Brent, Stephanie and her parents, Patrick Kane, the whole freaken team except for Johnny, and my dads side. I was sitting with Christina, Brent, Ally, Stephanie, Kanner, and Nik when I saw Johnny walk in by himself. I get up and walk over to him. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever. "Hey," he says hugging me. "I'm so sorry Ella."


"It's okay Jonny, really."
"I'm here for you if you and your family need anything."
"I know, thank you. Where's Brigid?"
"She's not in my life anymore. I think I need sometime to think about things."
"That's nice. Thanks for coming Jonny," I say as Alfonso comes up to us.
"Hey Alfonso," Jonny says to him.
"If you want, you can get food."
"I'm gonna actually head out. If you need anything, you know how to find me."
"Thank you."


I watch Jonny leave as Alfonso pulls on my arm. I look down at him and bend down to his level. He's watching my face as I watch Jonny walk out of the room. I feel a tear roll down my eye. "Ella, do you honestly still love him?" Alfonso asks me. I don't have anything to say right now, because we all know the answer. "Ella, everyone deserves a second chance." Oh Alfonso your so naive and innocent. I shake my head as Brent bends down to our level.


"Jonny doesn't deserve a second chance right now..."


I watch Brent pick Alfonso up and give me a hug. "I'm here for you best friend," he tells me as I cry into his shirt. Alfonso is crying too. This wasn't the time for all of this to be happening. I feel Brent run his hand through my hair as I feel his grip pull tighter on Alfonso and I. "It's okay Ella, let it all out. Alfonso, its okay to cry. Boys have to cry at one point, it's okay to cry," Brent tells us as Alfonso starts crying.


It was going to be a rough few months, I just knew it. I cried somemore and through my sobs, I heard myself saying the following:


"Mom, I'm so sorry. Jonny, I miss you, I miss you so much."

Blink 182 -- I Miss You

How You Love Me Now;;Ella;;56

Time went by. We lost Kris, Dustin, Adam, Antti, Andrew, Brent Sopel, Colin Frasier, and Eager, but got new people that I had never even heard of in my life. It was the first preseason game against Pittsburgh, and we all knew shit was about to go down between Sidney and Kanner. 


I walked into the locker room and saw Brigid with Jonny. It brought me back to last preseason, the fight between Kris and Johnny. I shake the memory off and go by Sharpie, who looked like a lost puppy without Adam. I take a seat next to him and his wife, Ashlynn. They both look at me as I see Brent and Ally walk in. "You okay?" Sharpie asks me. I don't say anything at first, because the flash backs are playing in my head now.


If you were sorry Kris, if you were really sorry...


"Earth to Antonella," Ashlynn says, waving her hand infront of my face.
"Oh sorry, yeah I'm fine," I lie.
"Liar liar pants on fire," Sharpie murmurs as Ally and Brent join us.
"Who invited the bimbo?" Brent asks.
"Apparently Jonny did," I reply, having a staring contest with Brigid.
"Ella, don't even look at her, your just giving her the satisfaction she wants," Brent tells me.
"I wish I could kill her."
"Ella stop talking like that," Sharpie tells me.


Brigid gets up from where she was sitting and comes directly at me. I stand up, as Sharpie is trying to hold me down. This was going to be real interesting. I was really thinking of last preseason and the exact words that were thrown between Jonathan and Kris.

"Playing truth or dare doesn't consider making the first move."

"Just quit while you're ahead...or, even better, take your truck on a roadtrip again, this time, go home and cry to mommy and daddy cry baby....that's after you play hockey like a girl."

"If I played hockey like a girl, I wouldn't have the "C" on my chest assfuck."

"Okay cunt."

"I'm a cunt? Last time I checked, I had a penis and you had a vagina!"

"OKAY THATS IT!"

It was at that moment I knew Brigid and I were going to be going at it with one another. Sharpie finally lets go of my hand and I'm standing face to face with Brigid. We're looking directly at eachother, I don't say anything, but she clearly makes the first move. "I thought it was alittle obvious that you weren't want here," she sneers at me.

"Theres people in this room who want me here you bimbo."

"Ella stop while your ahead," Ally murmurs.

"Ella, just pack up and leave this area, go be a hot mess somewhere else."

"Don't start this Brigid."

"Drugs, alcohol..."

"THATS IT!"

I lung myself at Brigid and knock her down. I throw punches at her as she flips me over and staddles me while punching me. Someone grabs hold of her and someone helps me up. I look at Johnny and shake my head as I leave the locker room.

After getting cleaned up, I meet Ally, Christina, and Stephanie at our seats as the game starts. Sidney is going after Patrick like there is no tomorrow. We all know why, the baby. It was at the point where he slashed Patrick and Patrick was pissed. He pushed him. Sidney pushed back. Words were flown toward one another. The gloves flew off. The punches were thrown. It was the start to the battle that would last until October.

The game ends and I'm leaving to go to my car. "Ella wait!" I hear someone yell. I don't turn around but I feel someone grab my hand. I turn and see Jonny, staring at me. "Can we please talk?" he asks me. I shake my head and try to leave, but his grip on me is tighter than ever. 

"Go back to your bitch of a girlfriend."

"Ella, listen she had no right to say what she said to you. I just want to be friends with you Ella."

"The last time we tried that we both got hurt because of her."

"Ella.."

"Jonny, let me ask you a question."

"Okay..."

"Tell me now, how you love me now?"

"What?"

"You heard correctly. Now answer me."

Theres a long pause as Jonny places his hands in his pockets. I look around, no one is out here. The last thing I need right now is the Chicago Tribune photographing us two. He looks directly at me and shakes his head. "I don't know Ella...I'll be honest though...I still care about you and love you."

"There is no more you and I Jonny."

With that I left, only to get a phone call. It was from Dad. I pick up the phone and place it to my ears before putting the key into the ignition. I'm so pissed about Jonny right now I could kick my windshield. "Dad, I'm on my way home whats up?"

"Ella, get to your moms house right now."

"Dad, is everything okay?"

"Ella...mom was found dead."

Hey Monday -- How You Love Me Now

Collide;;Jonny;;55

starting now, at the end of each chapter, therell be a youtube link for a song that played while writing the chapter due to the song explaining how everyone is feeling in the chapter. also, im at twenty followers, and i know my chaps have been sucking lately, give some feedback,thanks! :)


I'm at the Drake with Nik. As the best mans job, the maid of honor, the bride, groom, and best man all drag there asses around to make everyone happy. It was one of those days and Ella is the maid of honnor. Fuck my life right now. We're sitting in the lobby of the Drake waiting for Christina and Ella to get here. I don't say much, only because I'm almost positive that Nik is mad about mine and Ella's outburt from two days ago. "I'm not mad at you, if you're thinking that," he tells me. Well isn't that a relief. "I think your making a mistake for taking back the girl who caused you pain a year ago."


"We all deserve second chances."
"Bridgid doesn't."


Oh I want to tell him of Christina and Patricks kiss.


"Hey guys."


Speak of the devil. I look up and Ella refuses to look at me. We meet up with a caterer and sit at a table to sample dishes that would end up being our lunch. We each sample wine as well. We're enjoying a few Greek and Swedish appetizers as I catch Ella looking at her phone and a small smile comes to her face. "Ella, put the phone away," Nik tells her.


"Sorry, it was Kyle."
"Kyle? You mean the guy you met the other night?!"
"Yes, but I don't think we're gonna go anywhere."
"Why's that?"
"He's not my type, and he's a little clingy."


For the first time since we've gotten to the Drake, she's looking at me as our soups come out. We get some Greek soup that Ella refuses to eat. She looks at me again but her smile fades. I really hurt her this time. I was ashamed of the person I was becoming and I hurt the person I loved the most. She looks away now as she gives her soup to Christina. "We're not having an Olympics episode again so eat," Christina yells.


"I hate this Greek soup."
"Ella, eat."
"I will, I skipped breakfast this morning just for this."
"Jesus your a nutcase," Nik tells her.
"So I've been told."


I'm looking at Ella, which is all I've been doing since she got here. I didn't say much to anyone here, but I'm looking at her. She doesn't care, but at the same time, she truly does care. She looks at me now but I turn away. "I'm going to use the bathroom," I say as I get up and walk to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror. I don't even know what I've become, but it isn't me. I still love Ella, but I love Brigid. God I hated life.


I walk out of the bathroom and bump into someone. I look up and see Ella staring directly at me. Her arms are folded across her chest and she doesn't seem so happy. I lean against the wall with my hands in my pockets. "Ella," I sigh.


"I don't know what gives you the right to stare at me, but don't stare at me. Don't look at me, think about me, talk about me, talk to me---"


I take my hands out of my pocket and place them on the sides of her face as my lips collide with hers. She lets out of shriek but calms down as she kisses me back. I pull away as I place my arms across my chest. She shakes her head. "How about that Ella? I know you still care."


"Don't ever talk to me Jonny. Just because were in a wedding together, doesn't mean we're friends. Don't look at me, talk to me, talk about me, think about me, call me, contact me, just leave me alone."


She walks into the bathroom as I shake my head. She was dead set on those words for the time being. I sigh and look at the ceiling.


I really and truely fucked up royally this time.

Dishwalla -- Collide

I Don't Care;;Ella;;54

I walk into Brents for the big baby party he and Ally are throwing for Patrick and Stephanie. I'm one of the first to arrive, and I see Ally already drinking with Brent and Adam Burish. This was probably going to be the last time the whole team would be together due to the salary cap situation. We were all going to take great advantage of it. For all I knew, Patrick Sharp, Adam, Kris, Nik, Andrew, Antti, John, Dustin, and a few of the other guys were all free agents. 


I hug Adam and take a seat next to him. He puts his arm around me as I rest my head on his shoulder. This was one of the few assholes who I loved on the free agent list for Chicago that I knew I was going to miss if he left. "I'm going to miss getting drunk with you Ella," he laughs as I look at him.


"Dude, you don't even know if you're leaving for sure."
"Dallas wants to make a good deal for me. I'll know in two days."
"Thanks for being a good friend, even if you don't know how to keep your mouth shut."
"Ella, I'll ALWAYS have your back."


Nik and Christina arrive with Troy Brower and his wife. We all sit and talk like nothing happened between Jonny and I as Patrick Kane and Stephanie walk in. So far, there was no sign of Jonny, and I was hoping it would stay like that for the night. Things were going well


until they walked in.


I whip my head around and see Jonny walk in with Bridgid. This was going to be a longass night. I take a seat next to Christina, who's avoiding Patrick Sharp at all costs. I catch him looking at her and her looking back as I hit her. "Don't make it so obvious or Nik will find out," I tell her.


No one is talking to Jonny that much, infact, there all pissed Bridgid is here. I walk into the house and into the kitchen to grab a water bottle. I hear the thunder, meaning everyone is going to be piling into the house. I turn around and see Bridgid standing infront of me. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a low bun and her face is caked with make up. "Hey," is all I slip out.


"Why are you here? I'm surprised there even associating with you."
"My best friend is pregnant, I have a right to be here. What's it to you?"
"Jonny clearly dumped you, you shouldn't be here."
"I clearly don't know why he took you back."
"Because look at you, your a hotmess. Your father is gay, your mother is a drug addict, and your brother will make it no where. You might as well drop off the face of the earth."


I slap her across the face. She's holding the side of her face now. I shake my head. "You have no fucken right talking about my family like that!" I look up and now everyone is looking at Bridgid and I. I walk outside and I hear the door slam behind me. "Ella, what the hell is your problem!?"


Jonathan.


"Jon, leave me alone."
"Ella," he yells, turning me around. "This is obnoxious."
"You know, I'm trying to make it through right now, but in my way, there is you. I'm okay--"
"Ella, don't bring her into this. You're not okay, I know it."
"I am okay."
"No you're not Ella, I can see right through you."
"You know Jonny, if you were dead or still alive, I don't care."
"Whatever Ella."
"Just go and leave this all behind, because I swear I don't care."
"I'm glad you don't Ella."
"Welcome to the real world Jonny, because guess what, I don't care."
"Good..because I don't care either...at all."


I storm off and drive home with Apocalypta's I Don't Care blaring through my speakers. Jonathan Toews...what the hell did I ever see in you. I should've stuck with my gut and never dated you, hooked up with you, tell you I loved you...


When the truth was, I do care. I  really do care...but at the same time, I don't care.

Apocalypta -- I Don't Care

It's A...;;Stephanie;;53

I storm into the boys team meeting at the United Center, after word of the breakup at work got to me. It was a couple of hours before my ultrasound of the sex of the baby and I was looking for Jonathan so I can rip him to shreds. I get the stares from Patrick Sharp and Duncan Keith as I stomp my way through the film room. I find Jonny getting up to leave. He stops as he sees me. "Stephanie, what are you---" I slap him across the face as he stops talking. He grabs the side of his face and looks at me. "What the hell was that for?" He asks me.


"Gee, I don't know, you breaking up with the one person who loved you."
"Get over it Stephanie."
"Excuse me?"
"It's clearly not your problem, obviously."


I'm mad now. I have him pinned against the wall by his kneck. The whole room is looking at me now. I'm four months pregnant and I have my best friends exboyfriend pinned to a wall. "You chased her after her for six months, eventually got her, and then left her for a girl who cheated on you and made you take a random road trip to Chicago. How stupid can you get!?" I'm yelling now as Patrick is pulling me away.


"Baby, leave him, he's a dumbshit. Let's go find the sex of your child," he tells me as I nodd.
"So help me God Toews, your making the biggest mistake of your life."


An hour in a half later I'm on a bed waiting for the lady to come in for the ultrasound. Patrick is sitting on the chair shaking his head. I look at him as he's sipping a slurpee. "What is so funny Mr. Kane?" I ask him as he puts the slurpee down.


"Nothing, you get to find the sex of your baby and we still don't know who the father is."
"We'll find out in my thrid trimester so take a chill," I snap.
"Is someone a little hungry?" He jokes as he takes a candy bar out of his pocket.
"You eat that damn thing infront of me--"
"MMMMMM!" He says, bitting the Snickers bar. "This...is...soo...fucken...delicious!"
"I hate---"
"Hi Stephanie. I'm Angela. I'll be doing your ultrasound today," the doctor smiles.
"Hi," I smile back.
"Now, this may tickle, so you may laugh."


She begins to put the lotion on and rubs it with a camera on my stomach. I look at the screen as Patrick joins while holding my hand. We see two hands moving and I feel the baby kick me as Patrick laughs. I give him a cute smile then turn my head back to the monitor. "Well," Patrick asks Angela. "What is she having?"


"Stephanie, it's a girl."


My eyes widen as Patrick kisses my head. My baby is a girl. She prints the picture out and I see Patrick looking at it. He then sends a mass text out with a reponse from Brent. "Well...Brents throwing a party for us tonight," he smiles.


We're in the car now. My phone goes off and I see Ella texted me. 


From: Ella Cell
is johnny going to Brents tonight?


To: Ella Cell
i have no idea, if he's there, he's there I guess. I almost kicked his ass today


From: Ella Cell
I heard from Brent and Nik...congrats tho girl! I'm only coming for the sake of your child.


To: Ella Cell
oh your such a good friend


From: Ella Cell
I try..I'll see you tonight




"So help me God Patrick, if he brings that bimbo tonight, he's dead."
"She can't be THAT bad."
"Please, you met her once."
"Yes, and I was completely intoxicated remember?"
"Can we kill her?"
"Why don't we let Ella and Johnny solve this problem?"


And just like that, the conversation was over. I was having a girl, Ella and I wanted Bridgid dead, and still had no idea who the father of my child was. Fuck my life royally right now.


enjoy!

The Break Up;;Ella;;52

We get back from Italy Tuesday morning after an obnoxious flight. Ally slept on Brents shoulder, why I stayed up the whole seven hours wanted to shoot the guy infront of me because he would not stop talking. He was talking to everyone. It made me want to shoot myself in the face.


I walk into my appartment and see Johnny sitting at the counter looking at his phone. He looks up and a small smile forms to his face. "Hi baby," I smile but I don't get anything back. I lean up against the counter as he sets his phone down. I take a glance at the phone and my eyes are popping out of my head.


He's texting Bridgid.


"Why the flying fuck are you texting her?" I ask.
"How was Italy?"
"Don't change the subject and answer my question, why are you texting Bridgid?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, because we're dating, and you shouldnt be communicating with your exgirlfriend while your dating someone."
"Okay mom."
"Don't get all sassy with me."


Jonny grabs the phone and walks toward the door. "Where are you going?" I yell, chasing after him. He walks back to me and kisses my forehead. Somethings wrong, I'm sure of it. "Ella, I think we should see other people," he flat out says.


"Wait...what!?"
"Bridgid and I...were gonna try again."
"You're fucken shitting me right now."
"Ella...I still wanna be friends."
"Get the fuck out of my living room."


I watch him leave as Ally walks in. She looks at the door then at me, whos ready to start the water works. "What the fuck happened just now?" She asks as I grab the tub of ice cream from the freezer. "Ella...why are you eating ice...noo," she says as she grabs a spoon and joins me while I sob about how he and Bridgid are getting back together. 


"Ella...he's not worth it."
"If someone chased after you for a year, there worth it."
"Ella...he'll come around, I know it."
"I hope your right."


I lie on bed that night, starring at the ceiling while tears stream onto my pillow. He and Bridgid are back together. I work with Bridgid. This was not going to go well. 


I see Bridgid at work the next day. A pregnant Stephanie is there too. She's glowing while I'm a wreck. Bridgid gives me a stupid smirk as Stephanie grabs my arm. "It's not worth it Ella," she tells me as I clock in.  I nodd my head and look at the register. 


My life has come to a complete hault.


And I had to fucken deal with it.

Italy, The Country of Romance and Ass Kicking;;Brent;;51

"Ella, what are you doing?"


I ask her as we take off for our seven hour plane ride to Milan. She's sitting next to me indian style while sketching out random designs. She doesn't say anything, but quickly glances at what I'm wearing, which is kahkis and a white polo, then throws men's vogue at me. "What am I going to do with this?" I ask her.


"Look at it and pick up a new clothing style. I'm not letting my best friend walk around looking like that."
"Bitch."
"Oh you love me."
"Wait, whats wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"Brent, have you looked in a mirror? You look hideous."
"Alright, I'll fix myself. Wait,do you even no Italian and how to get to Milian."
"Brent, I'm not that stupid."
"Seriously Ella."
"Yes I do,so take a chill, youll win Ally over."


The rest of the flight involves Ella swearing Italian and me sleeping a majority of the time. I feel someone slap me across the face. I wake up and Ella's stairing at me. I rub my face. "Wake up jackass, we're here," she says as I unbuckle my seatbelt and follow her into the terminal of the airport. We grab our bags and get into a cab. Ella goes off in Italian to the cabbie and we're off. I'm looking out the window, this is the most beautiful place I've ever been to in my life.


We check in and settle into our room were we notice theres only one bed. I look at Ella who's cursing in Italian again. "Ella, I'll sleep on the floor calm down," I tell her as she's pacing back and forth with her hands in her hair. She then says we can share the bed but I can't be a bed hog. We then spend the next two days exploring Italy like typical tourists. Its Friday now, we had until Monday to find Ally. We're lying in the bed staring at the ceiling. "Have you heard from Jon?" I ask her.


"Yes...he's a wreck without me there."
"Awe how cute."
"You really messed up with Ally, eh?"
"Yeah...I'm a dumb ass, remember?"
"Yes Brent, we know. It'll all work out, I promise."


The next morning comes around. Ella and I decide to go to the Vatican. I stop dead in my tracks as I see the girl kissing the european boy. She has a bun on top of her head and is wearing hollister shorts. It's Ally. Ella looks at what I'm seeing. "Brent, you need to go win her over now," she tells me. Ally looks over and turns her head. I march over there, grabbing her arm as she walks away. "Go away," she murmurs but I turn her around and look at her. I look at those green eyes, the eyes I've missed.


"Why are you even here?" She yells.
"I came to say sorry."
"You came all this way to apologize?" She yells some more.
"No one asked for you to come," Alessandro tells me.
"Oh, so your Alessandro?"
"And your the douchebag."
"Sandro, don't--"
"It's okay Ally. Look I'm not the best person around, I know I have anger issues, but I know that if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here."
"I think you should leave now," Alessandro tells me.
"I think not."
"No really whore, your asking for it."
"Don't whore me."
"Alessandro please stop."
"Leave."
"Make me."


And just like that, Alessandro punches me. I punch him back as we begin throwing punches and I'm on the ground now. "Brent stop it!" Ally yells as I hear Ella yelling something at me but I dont hear her. I feel someone life me up from the ground and see it's Ella holding me back. We watch as Ally and Alessandro argue about something as he walks away throwing his hands in the air. Ally walks over to us. I look at Ella, who just steps away. Ally stops as she looks at me, she doesn't look at me. "Tell me the truth, why are you here?" She asks me.


"Because I love you, that's why."
"I still love you Brent."
"I still love you. Tell me you'll come home and fix our relationship?"
"When's the next flight out?" She says with a smile.


I feel Ally's arms wrap around my kneck as she rests her head on my shoulder. We exit our hug and Ella walks over to us. She's shaking her head. "Are ya'll done being all goo goo ga ga lovey dovey? Because I'm hungry," she whines as we walk over to a cafe. I grab Ally's hand. Everything was at ease, everyone was happy...


For now at least.