Thursday, October 28, 2010

moving this to mibba, just all of you know

i will update this there, so if you want to subscribe to it there, add my mibba

mibba

sorry for not updating at all, ive been soo busy with school and shit

but im moving it to mibba, and will probably make a few minor changes to a few earlier chapters, we'll see tho

thanks for the understanding! :)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A Possible Death Warrent;;Ella;;64

It's been a week since Jonny and I got back together. We decided to keep it on the down low because I didn't feel like going through a full out saga with everyone about our relationship. So far our familes and the team new, but that was about it. We weren't ready to publicize our relationship.


It was new years and I was at the Doctors getting looked at. I hear my name being called and before I know it, they are drawing blood from my arm. Why was this happening? I have had the worst headaches since the wedding and it's gotten to the point where I was told to go to the doctor due to a lump on my head. The doctor comes into the room ten minutes later and sits down, placing my file on the desk. "Antonella..."


"Doctor Wallace..."
"We have a problem."


I hated those worse oh so very much. She rubs her forehead and shows me the results. "Antonella...you have a tumor," she flat out tells me. My eyes are widened. I'm lost lost for words now. I might as well sign my death slip now and enter the after life. 


"Are you sure?" I ask her.
"I'm positive...we can remove it though, it's at a good stage where we can get it out."
"Is it fatal?"


She doesn't say anything. I know the answer to this. I could possibly die during surgery. Her eyes say it all. Now I'm scared. "There is a good chance you won't survive the surgery Ella. Do you want to go through with it though?" She asks me.


"What are the odds I'll survive?"
"A good 30% chance."
"I'll take that chance."
"We'll schedule the surgery."


I schedule the surgery for a week from today. I then sit in my car and ball my eyes out. This wasn't happening. I wasn't dying. I put the keys in the ignition and drive to Jonnys appartment. I knock on the door and he opens it. He's surprised to see me crying. "Ella, baby what's wrong?" He asks me as I walk in. "Baby sit down.Why are you crying? How was the doctor?"


"Jonny..."
"Baby..."
"I have a brain tumor."


Jonny doesn't say anything but I can see he's wanting to cry. And believe me, it takes alot for this man to cry. Apparently he cried over me in Vancouver during the Olympics and tore his hotel room apart. "What's next?" He asks me as he wipes the tears away from my cheek.


"I have to have surgery in a week."
"Will you survive?"
"There's a 30% chance I will survive."
"And a 70% chance you won't."
"Yeah."
"Baby, it's going to be okay."
"And what if it's not?"
"Baby, I promise you it's going to be okay."


I'm sobbing my eyes out now. Jonny pulls me into a hug and runs his hand through my hair. "It's going to be okay baby, it's going to be okay," he keeps telling me as I hear him sob too. I was dying. I was fucken dying and there was a small chance I was going to die.


Jonny took the next week off to help me get through this. It was the night before my surgery and I was lying in his bed at his condo. His arm was under me and I had my head on chest. He kisses my forehead and I just look at him. "Jonny...whatever happens, I will always be with you."


"Ella...I will always love you."


enjoy!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Wedding Day;;Ella;;63 Pt 3

We were finally at the Drake, enjoying drinks and little mini appitizers that they were serving. Jonny and I kept our distance after our fake smiles at the wedding for everyone to see that we were only pretending to be happy when in reality, we both were miserable and wouldn't mind killing ourselves at any given moment. 


The music was filling the lobby of the banquet hall of the Drake, switching from Aerosmith to Drake and such. I was standing with Alfonso talking to Brent and Ally when I saw my dad come by. I smile and hug my dad. "Well..I haven't seen you two kids all day!"


"Yeah, I'M HUNGRY!" Alfonso yelled.
"Ella, you look just like your mom right now...except sober."
"I plan on getting mad drunk tonight dad."
"Jonny's been looking for you. You---"
"LINE UP FOR DINNER!"


We all line up and Jonny is standing next to me as the MC is announcing the bridal party. He's looking at me now, but I'm looking forward. "Can we talk later tonight?" He asks me. I don't say anything. I'm not in the mood to talk. I just want an alcoholic beverage. "Are you going to ignore me?"


"Maid of Honor and Best Man: Jonathan Toews and Antonella Gianni!"


We walk out and sit at the table. Jonny pulls the chair out as the MC announces Nik and Christina. They sit and I stand. It's time to make the lovely speech. I didn't even come up with a speech. I knew what I was going to do...bullshit this speech. "Hey guys...well...Niklas..." I begin, looking at my new cousin in law. "I remember when Christina first told me she knew you...I thought it was a joke...then she told me you two were dating...then it dawned on me that my cousin was being a badass and dating a sweed!" 


The whole room begins laughing now as I take a sip of water. The room goes quiet as I begin to talk again. "Well...your my best friend Nik and Christina is more than my cousin...she's my sister, which makes you my brother. OH MY GOD NIK IS MY BROTHER!" Everyone is laughing again and the funny thing is...I'm practically sober. "Nik...you're so good to her and you make her happy...please do that the rest of you're lives."


Everyones clapping now and Jonny stand up. This speech was going to be eventful. Everyone goes quiet and he starts talking. "As I qoute on qoute, 'Yes, I am dating Christina", I personally thought it was a joke that Nik had a girlfriend!" Everyone is laughing at that comment but then he continues to talk. "Christina...your a great person and perfect for Nik. I remember when I first met you you crashed Brents party and I was thinking to myself, damn, Nik is lucky to find someone whos perfect for him. Take care of my buddy, okay?"


And that was that. Dinner came about and then the MC called Nik and Christina to the dance floor. The song If I Die Tomorrow by Motley Crue goes off and they begin dancing. I'm keeping my distance from Jonny but as the song goes off the MC calls the bridal party to come and dance. Bruce Springsteens Dancing in the Dark and were all dancing. It's the first time Jonnys hands are in mine since the break up. He's looking at me now, I'm looking back. I let go. "I'll be back," I say as I run away. 


I'm running outside on the deck that the Drake has set out by their banquet hall. I'm not wearing a jacket and to be honest, it doesn't phase me that it's below zero out. I gripping on the railing of the deck and notice that I'm the only person out here right now. I'm looking at the city and the cars go by. I missed Jonny, I loved Jonny, I hated Jonny, it was like a whole fucken rollercoaster. 


"You do know it's below zero out here, right?"


I turn around and cross my arms but look at the ground. It's Jonny. I then look up and see him coming toward me. This was just great. I turn back to look at the cars go by but he doesn't stand next to me. "Why are you even out here anyways?" He asks me.


"I needed air."
"Uh huh. Look, I'm going to ask you one final time but that's it."
"Ask me what?" I ask him, turning around. 
"Do you still love me? Ella, I need to know."


I don't say anything. It's like my voice box was cut out of my throat and I couldn't talk. I went completely mute. He's shaking his head now and I'm looking at the ground. "Ella, I'm done chasing after you. I'm done waiting around thinking your going to come back to me."


He's walking away now. I'm watching him walk out of my life. I knew that if he did, I'd never get him back to call him my own. I needed to fix this. "JONATHAN!" I yell, running after him in heels. "SHIT!" I yell. 


I feel myself hit the ice. I feel the sting in my arm as I winced in pain. "Ella, are you alright?" Jonny asks me as he knees down to me. I'm realizing that I'm now cold and my shoes were broken. Jonny takes them off for me and the looks at my arm. "You got lucky, it's not broken." And that's when the words came out of my mouth.


"I still love you Jonny."


He's looking at me now. I'm looking back. I can't believe those fucken words came out of my mouth. "What did you just say?" He asks me. I'm mute again. I look at the ice and a tear rolls down my cheek. 


"I still love you idiot."


Jonny helps me up and we're looking at each other eye to eye. It was at that moment he leaned in and caressed his lips on mine. I kiss him back and then he pulls away. "What made you change your mind?" I ask him. He then pulls his jacket off and slips it around me.


"I still care about you, I made a mistake, we all make mistakes."
"Thank you for coming back," I smile.
"Thank you for letting me. Now let's get inside, okay?"


He grabs my shoes and walks back inside with me, hand in hand. He drops my shoes off at a random chair and we go to the dance floor. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands are on my waist. It was then I rested my head on his chest and I felt his chin rest on top of my head. I was at ease. I had him back. Nothing was going to come in the way of him and I.


And I meant nothing.


I had the whole world in the palm of my hand.