Confessions&Second Chance Options;;Ella;;57

I meet my dad and Alfonso at the corners office. We're sitting in the waiting area as Alfonso is on my dads lap. My head is on my dads shoulder right now. He didn't need this. Jay and him just broke up and now his exwife was found dead. "Dad, what the hell happened?" I asked him as he looks at me.


"Alfonso came home from a friends and found mom in the living room. He said she wasn't moving so he called me and 9-1-1."
"Dad, you shouldn't have to be going through this."
"Ella, we have to go through lifes ups and downs--"
"Mr. Gianni?"


We all stand up and follow the forensic scientist and cop into a room. My dad sits down and places a half asleep now twelve year old Alfonso on his lap. I sit next to my dad as my cop and the forensic scientist opens up a file. My dad looks like he feels bad about something. "She had an overdose, your exwife."


"On what?" I ask.
"Prescription medication and oxycotton. Did she have a history of drug addictions?"
"Oh man..."
"Dad?" Alfonso and I say in unison.
"Guys, I should've told you. Ella, when she had you, she had a stint in rehab."
"No wonder why I'm closer to you than I was to her.."
"Fonso, she had an alcohol problem sometime after you were born..."


This was unreal now. My mom had an alcohol and drug problem. The cops tell Alfosnso and I to leave. I tell dad I'll bring him home. We're at my dads now. I'm lying in my king sized bed as a knock comes from my door. It creaks open and theres somewhat taller but still tiny Alfonso standing there. "Whats up Alfonso?" I ask him.


"Can I lay with you?"
"I don't see why you wouldn't be able too." 


I move over as he lies on my bed with me. We're both not saying anything because we don't have anything to say. "What's going to happen now Ella?" He asks me. I look at my brother and see that we both have my dads features, but he looks more like dad than I do. 


"Well...I know for a fact mom didn't make a will, so dad has full custody of you now."


There's a knock on the wall. I see my dad standing in the door way. I try to smile as he places his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "Can I join you two?" He asks as we nodd. My dad sits in the middle of Alfonso and I as his arms are around both of us. "Are you guys okay?" he asks us.


"Why didn't you tell us the truth dad?" Alfonso asks us.
"I wanted to keep you guys from worrying, your my number one priority ever since you both were born. Want to know a secret? I practically raised you two on my own."
"You did a good job dad," Alfonso says as my dad kisses his head. "You're the best."
"Dad...are you okay, you know with the whole Jay thing and this?" I ask.
"I'll be fine. I think I'm going to date woman again. And this incident, it's just going to make our bond stronger as a family."
"Ella are you still sad about Jonny?"


Did Alfonso really have to ask me that? I look at the ceiling. I wasn't okay, I had to lie to myself everyday and pretend I didn't care, but inside I did care. I still loved him more than anything. "Lets get through this right now before I answer that?"


It was the funeral. We were all at a luncheon with the family, including Christina's mom and sisters, Nik, Ally and her family, Brent, Stephanie and her parents, Patrick Kane, the whole freaken team except for Johnny, and my dads side. I was sitting with Christina, Brent, Ally, Stephanie, Kanner, and Nik when I saw Johnny walk in by himself. I get up and walk over to him. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever. "Hey," he says hugging me. "I'm so sorry Ella."


"It's okay Jonny, really."
"I'm here for you if you and your family need anything."
"I know, thank you. Where's Brigid?"
"She's not in my life anymore. I think I need sometime to think about things."
"That's nice. Thanks for coming Jonny," I say as Alfonso comes up to us.
"Hey Alfonso," Jonny says to him.
"If you want, you can get food."
"I'm gonna actually head out. If you need anything, you know how to find me."
"Thank you."


I watch Jonny leave as Alfonso pulls on my arm. I look down at him and bend down to his level. He's watching my face as I watch Jonny walk out of the room. I feel a tear roll down my eye. "Ella, do you honestly still love him?" Alfonso asks me. I don't have anything to say right now, because we all know the answer. "Ella, everyone deserves a second chance." Oh Alfonso your so naive and innocent. I shake my head as Brent bends down to our level.


"Jonny doesn't deserve a second chance right now..."


I watch Brent pick Alfonso up and give me a hug. "I'm here for you best friend," he tells me as I cry into his shirt. Alfonso is crying too. This wasn't the time for all of this to be happening. I feel Brent run his hand through my hair as I feel his grip pull tighter on Alfonso and I. "It's okay Ella, let it all out. Alfonso, its okay to cry. Boys have to cry at one point, it's okay to cry," Brent tells us as Alfonso starts crying.


It was going to be a rough few months, I just knew it. I cried somemore and through my sobs, I heard myself saying the following:


"Mom, I'm so sorry. Jonny, I miss you, I miss you so much."

Blink 182 -- I Miss You