An Apology Made 11 Years Later;;Jon;;9

"Okay, why do you hate me so much?"

I asked her as she set the pop on the counter. Her eyes widened up as she tilted her head to the side. She could seriously do without all the make up she caked on. Her hair was pulled back by a headband and she was wearing a black tank top, straightleg jeans and a pair of black heels. I had to admit, despite the caked on make up, she looked really pretty.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"You act like you've known me for years."

"Because I have known you for years."

"What are...no wonder."

"Yeah, don't think I don't remember because I do."

December 1999

Jon and Ella are in fourth grade

Chicago, Illinois

I remember I was nine years old. My family moved to Chicago for a year after hearing that hockey was big in the Chicago suburbs. I was placed in a chatolic elementry school in a suburb not too far from the city.

I remember Ella and Ally, but Ella more perfectly. I remember she had glasses and long, brown hair. I remember she was a loud Italian and her cousin was greek. The three of them were all in my fourth grade class at St. Norbert grade school. Our teacher was Mrs. Shoeman.

I remember our desks were set up as tables. I remember standing by the lockers in my class room. I was standing next to a boy named Jack Larson. We were talking about how cool it would be to play a joke on the "triple threat", which is what we called Christina, Ella, and Ally back in the day. "Jonny, you're going to sit here. Ella, sit across from him."

Ella and I never really talked much. She was always with Ally. She told Jack to sit next to me and for Ally to sit across from him. Ella raised her hand. "Why can't Christina sit with us?" She asked.

"Does she have to be with you every five waking minutes?" I asked.

"Was I asking you?" She snapped at me.

"Well, why don't you two just get married? Oh wait, because god forbid you don't have Ally there too!"

"You don't have to be so mean," she said.

"Well..you two always have to be with eachother. What are you guys, in love with each other? I bet you all made out with each other!"

I remember making her cry that day and being sent to the principals office. I remember getting in big trouble and people hating me for a week. I remember after Christmas I was told we're going back to Manitoba in the spring. It was the best day of my life.

Seeing her now, she had every right to hate me. I implied that she was a lesbian and seeing her think about it now, I could see it killed her. "You have every right to hate me," I sigh. She rolls her eyes and grabs her pop can. She tries to walk away but I grab her hand. "Ella wait," I say to her.

"Get your hand off me Jon."

"I'm sorry for what I said eleven years ago."

"That's nice, but don't apologize now."

"Ella really, you have every right to hate me."

"How could you say such a thing at nine years old?"

"I'm a guy, what do you expect?"

She tries to walk away but I hold her hand tighter. She's trying to shake it off but my grip is stronger than hers. She gives up and I let go. I watch her put the coke can down, fold her arms across her chest and lean up against the counter. "Do they know?" I ask. Her phone goes off as she reads a text message. She puts the phone on the counter and goes back to the posistion she was in before. "They do now," she snaps.

"Look, I'm sorry, believe me, I've wanted to say that for so long."

"Clearly, you didn't because if you did, you would've said that when you were nine."

"Antonella Natalia Gianni! Shut up and listen for five minutes!"

I'm shocked to even remember her full name. She glares at me. She knows I'm right, but in a way, she's right too. I should've apologized when I was nine. "God, you're still the same, obnoxious, stubburn nine year old that doesn't let any one talk."

"Oh now this conversation is over," she says, grabbing the pop can and heading for the door.

"Just keep walking away Ella, keep walking. You're running away from problems like you did when you were nine."

She turns and glares at me. She slams the pop can on the counter and walks up to me. She slaps me really hard across the face. I guess I deserved that. Scratch that, I did deserve that. "Clearly, you still don't know how the hell to think before opening you're god damn mouth," she snaps. I bring my hand to the side of my face.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"How've you been?" I ask her.

"Now is not the time to switch subjects."

"Ella, can't we just let go of this grudge? I'm sorry."

"You called me a lesbian. Eleven years later my dad came out of the colset!"

This hits me like a bomb. I remember meeting her dad once or twice. He didn't seem that gay or flamboyant. Now I feel like an asshole. "I feel stupid now. I'm so sorry," I tell her. She nods her head. Her back is facing me now as she leans up on the counter. No ones talking now. "I work with your exgirlfriend."

"So I heard."

"You know, you're a dirty asshole for cheating on her."

"Believe what you want, I didn't cheat on her."

The sliding door opens. It's Stephanie. She smiles and waves then turns her attention to Ella. "Hey Ella, we got to be at work early tomorrow. We're going to head out," she says. I watch Ella nod as Stephanie leaves. She turns around and looks at me. "Don't talk to me Jon," she sneers at me.

"Those words won't stop me."

"Really, don't talk to me unless you can prove your twenty one years old and not a nine year old."

I watch her leave as Nik walks in. I noticed Ella left the pop can on the counter. I grab my car keys. "How'd that talk go? And why were you such an idiot when you were a nine year old?" He asks. I don't respond. I walk past the pop can and drive home asking myself the same thing.

Why the hell am I a dumbass?